“We should write a book one day.”
My husband and I say this often, because life sure does get interesting for us quite often.
And all the interesting things that have happened in the past few years, the past 2 years in particular, have really done a number on me. Walking through a long season of unrelenting stress while being a highly sensitive person has been intense to say the least. Here’s the highlight reel from the past 2 years alone …
prepping for and placing our home for sale
closing on the sale of our home and having not yet found our next residence
living quasi-homeless, 90% of our belongings in storage while we lived in a temporary set-up (which thankfully, was a good situation) for nine months
difficulty with one of our children who, unbeknownst to us at the time, had sensory processing difficulties [which were later identified, thank the Lord for Occupational Therapist!]
my young, active 36-year old husband being told he has a 90% blockage in his heart which required a stent and life-long medication [the single-most stressful event in my life]
negotiation the purchase of a home with a persnickety seller [ lots of drama ]
closing on the purchase of our current home
moving in and discovering there were many, many things that were not disclosed to us [and craftily masked for inspection] … a real-life version of The Money Pit
going on a 3-week vacation with family – 16 people divided between 2 campers … need I say more? 😉
a freak flash flood causing 6 INCHES of sewage to flood our basement – we incurred nearly $20,000 of damages and reparations [thankfully which God provided every penny]
intense financial stress (thanks to said sewage issue)
MORE house surprises
both vehicles engines going kaput … the SAME DAY, ya’ll
my beloved camera mysteriously deciding to stop working
more car malfunctions
more financial stress
Through it all I have tried to remain tough and resilient, but over time my health started to decline. I dismissed a lot of my symptoms thinking maybe I was a hypochondriac or that I was just being a weenie about things.
difficulty waking up and getting out of bed in the morning
difficulty falling and staying asleep
not feeling rested, despite good quality sleep
heart palpitations multiple times a day
high levels of fatigue most of the day
high energy levels late in the day [usually from 5pm until midnight or later]
inability to cope with stress [the smallest stressors became points of anxiety and depression for me]
weak immune system [infections and extreme allergy sensitivities]
joint pain and back pain
weight gain and inability to lose weight [I was asked if I was pregnant #sadface]
memory problems [with normally a near-photographic memory I started having trouble remember my best friends’ names]
All I knew was that I felt like a shadow of the person I knew I was, and I had no idea what to do.
My doctor ordered five pages of blood work, which came back confirming some adrenal dysfunction/fatigue. Vaguely familiar with the condition, I wanted to learn more. This book came with rave reviews by not only readers, but also other medical professionals. It appeared to be the most comprehensive book on the topic, and to my delight our local library carried it!
I picked this book up about a month ago, and I am making steady progress in reading it. While it is exciting to have a name for “what my deal is” and know there is hope for me, it feels a little daunting having to completely change my way of life in order to get better (and a little scary if I can be totally transparent).
I’ve felt trapped in a web of stress and it’s become so frequent and common to feel it that I no longer know what it feels like to NOT carry it with me. I am tired of feeling so drained.
Very soon I will be embarking on a journey to feel better, to feel myself again. I am researching supplements, crafting meal ideas, and scheduling self care in to my daily life. It kinda feels like what the first day of school was like for me as a kid .. lots of unknowns, butterflies in my tummy, but taking a deep breath, making that first step, and not looking back.
Stay tuned for more snapshots of my journey …